Only 2 weeks in, a foreboding message began to haunt my thoughts—a message that whispered Jon’s fate: he would die young, and I would lose him. It scared me to share this with him, but as I did, I found that Jon sensed the same premonition. Our connection was the strongest I had ever felt, yet the shadow of an uncertain future loomed over our happiness…

As we delved deeper into my concerns for Jon’s health, I took it upon myself to find solutions. His struggle with sleep apnea was no match for the mouth guards I discovered, effectively putting an end to his snoring and breathing issues. Additionally, there were significant dental problems, but I navigated a path to restore his smile and confidence. Beyond that, he was otherwise healthy and with each issue resolved, our fear began to dissipate. We were then able to turn our focus squarely on the promise of our future together.

Subconsciously, the foreboding message that had haunted us both led us to a simple yet profound realization – we needed to cherish each day as if it were our last. It was the essence of a conscious relationship. In our time together, we marveled at how a single day could feel like a week, a week like a month, and months like years. Though I had Jon physically by my side for only 6.5 magnificent months, the depth of our connection made it seem as though we had shared a decade.

Faith, often deeply personal, can be the result of a lifetime’s unique experiences. Finding someone whose beliefs align perfectly with your own is exceptionally rare. Jon and I discovered this alignment early in our relationship, sharing a belief system that resonated deeply with both of us. While Jon had grappled with moments of doubt during challenging times, he remained a believer. He confided in me that our connection felt like an answer to years of pain and prayer, and we both knew God had a bigger purpose for us.

Although neither of us had attended church regularly, there was one nondenominational Christian church that had always spoken to me when I felt the calling. I shared this with Jon, who was extremely open but not overly enthusiastic. To help him understand, I suggested we watch an online sermon by the pastor I admired. Despite our penchant for endless conversations, and our inability to sit through a single movie or TV show, we decided to give it a try. I had him select a sermon from the list, and something extraordinary happened – both of us were absolutely captivated. It was a rare moment of silence and focus, a testament to the impact of the message. Jon’s enthusiasm was palpable, and we ended up binge-watching several more sermons before bed. As we settled in bed that night, he led us in prayer and excitedly asked if we could attend a service with our kids the following weekend.

I can still vividly recall the enchantment of that moment in church, sitting there with Jon, Lucas, Sophie, and Sienna, all of us bathed in hope. The sermon that day centered around a topic that resonated deeply with each of us – anxiety, a shared struggle in our family. Even my strong-willed teenagers, who often challenged my requests, willingly joined us for that service. It was heartwarming to see everyone gathered together. Later that night, Jon and I engaged in an incredible, emotionally charged conversation. He had a unique way of interpreting and expressing his feelings, creating some of the most intimate moments we shared. His words were like poetry to me, and I was so moved that I recorded our dialogue. To this day, it is something I hold near to my heart, the only audio I have of him expressing his beautiful heart. Some of what we discussed, was meant just for US. However I want to share a couple of snippets with you all, so you can really get to know the person who has inspired me to be writing this blog.

While we didn’t attend church every weekend after, the experience opened something bigger up inside of both of us. We made an effort to go regularly, even if it was just the two of us. Sophie and Sienna were difficult to coerce at times, but anytime Lucas was with us for the weekend, he would join us. Lucas, in his own endearing way, never quite embraced the children’s church, because he wanted to remain close to Jon and me. It was always so cute how he would enthusiastically dance to the music, raise his hands in praise, and remain quiet, leaning on my shoulder or holding my hand, for the sermon. For anyone who knows how 7 year old boys are, it amazed me he had the patience he did. After a while, I could see he was getting antsier, and one day as soon as we were asked to sit down, he looked up at me and said, “Is it over yet? We can’t stay here forever!” Jon and I just laughed and tried to keep him still most of the service. Nonetheless, he made it through the service and as we were leaving, he exclaimed “Finally! Thank God!” From that point on, we decided to only go when it was just the two of us.

Outside of church, Jon and I often delved into topics that transcended the confines of traditional Christian doctrine because of our profound empathic abilities and understanding of God’s grand design. This is when we started to understand how our gifts and expansive knowledge didn’t contradict our understanding of Christianity. Each week synchronous messages would be heard and felt by both of us. It was almost like we were sharing some of the same thoughts. At the same time it seemed our phones were eavesdropping on those thoughts. Videos and articles would pop up reemphasizing the exact messages we heard. One week, the message revolved around the challenging concept of breaking generational patterns. It’s a formidable task, as many of us unwittingly follow in our parents’ footsteps, even when we strive to be different. We often find ourselves mirroring behaviors we once despised. Recognizing our family’s specific patterns and striving to break free from them requires tremendous effort. Jon and I both understood that we were on a journey of self-discovery and growth, determined to step away from these inherited blueprints. The following Sunday, it was just the two of us sitting in church, and to our amazement, the pastor’s sermon centered on generational patterns. I glanced over at Jon as he tightly held my hand, a tear rolling down his face, and in that moment, we both knew we were on the right path.

Throughout our journey together, we explored various avenues to nurture our spiritual growth. One promising path led us to a small group where we eagerly anticipated delving deeper into scripture while balancing it with our personal understanding and feelings. The group’s leaders were wonderful, and our initial session felt like a welcoming home. However, as we attended a few more sessions, both Jon and I began to sense that this particular group wasn’t the right fit for us. Our tipping point came during a potluck night that unexpectedly turned into a game night, with Jon and me involuntarily thrust into a game of charades. Our intense anxiety and stage fright made us both want to escape the situation, but we were too distant, divided on to opposite teams, to communicate our discomfort. So, we endured the experience, albeit with a touch of agony. The car ride home became a frustrated dialogue, where we expressed our disappointment in how this wasn’t aligning with what we sought on our spiritual journey. It was clear that this group was no longer for us.

From that point on, our spiritual conversations primarily took place between just the two of us. We dedicated ourselves to learning, researching, and praying together. Our shared journey continued to amplify our spiritual growth, promising to guide us for many years to come. Jon and I engaged in deep discussions about the signs I had received after my father’s passing and his personal experiencees with being able to inherently read people. We both explored methods to read a room and sense the energy emanating from people, recognizing the profound complexity of our understanding of God. Within our conversations, we contemplated the idea that our bond transcended earthly limits, laying the foundation for my secure knowing that Jon was at peace with God after his passing. Little did I know just how incredible our connection would become in the afterlife, as I would come to discover the extraordinary depth of communication that awaited us.

Stay Tuned: More to come…